A friend of mine, Liz, who has an awesome blog called lowicupid, told me a funny story about a recent date of hers. I had to turn part of her story into…
Fun & Funny Awesomeness
As a guy, getting your hair cut super-short, is one of the best things you can do. Why? Here are the top 6 reasons short haircuts are awesome (in no particular order):
Reason 1: Fewer hair products
Or, really, no hair products! This cuts down on money you spend on stuff that you wash down the drain. It also cuts down on the time that you spend in the shower. Less time spent in the shower means more time out there in the world… being awesome.
Reason 2: Every guy wishes they could
I have had several guys tell me that they like my short haircut and that they wish that they could get theirs cut short too, but that their wives don’t want them to. I’m not sure what the wives’ stories are, but I know the guys’: they wish they didn’t have to put time and effort into something that they’d rather sheer off.
Reason 3: You’re more confident
If you have longer hair, you kinda have to wonder if it’s messed up. This is in the back of your mind when you’re out there in the world. But if your hair is short, you know exactly what’s going on up top, and you can focus on what you’re doing and who you’re meeting. That little worry is a small thing, but I find that not having to worry about what the wind or hair product did to my hair makes me a lot more confident.
Reason 4: No hat hair
Hats are a smart choice when it’s bright out; it keeps the sun out of your eyes and helps keep you from turning into the sunburn lobster (Always use sunscreen, too. Skin cancer is lame!). But hat hair is embarrassing and almost impossible to get rid of without heading back to the shower for a hair restart. I love that short hair allows me to wear my favorite hat without worrying about looking weird whenever I take it off. And my wife likes that I wear my favorite hat because then I don’t get a sunburn.
Reason 5: You look better
Unless you have hair like Tom Cruise, and it’s stayed mysteriously perfect for like 60 years, then you’re probably starting to see some thinning-action happening up there. And even though you may not like the idea of giving up on hair, chances are pretty good that you would look much better with a short haircut.
We’ve all seen those guys who have comb-overs or border-line comb-overs. We’ve seen those guys who have the friar donut hair thing going on. They’re guys who are convinced that hair – any hair – is better than super-short or no hair. They’re wrong! Those guys would look so much better if they would get that limp grossness off their heads. And I’m sure they’d feel better, too. If I felt bad wondering if my hair was messed up or not, and I did, then how much worse must they feel knowing that theirs is garnering stares and scaring small children?
Reason 6: You’re a better communicator
Having short hair makes your facial features a lot more visible and your expressions a lot more vivid. You’re not hiding behind anything. It’s like looking at a picture with a frame – the frame can be distracting – especially if it’s all messed up and weird. Without stuff all over your head, all that’s left to focus on is… you!
So now, before we bring this post to a close, I’d like to present you with… a haiku about how awesome short haircuts are:
Short haircuts are cool
I think you should get one too
When done, send a pic!
Now tell me: What do you love about your haircut? in the comments section below. Also, let me read a haiku that you create!
So I think it’s time that I… write the most awesome post of all time. And yes, of course, it is a post about Jurassic Park.
Why Jurassic Park? Some may ask. But not you. You’re awesome. You know why Jurassic Park. For those who do wonder, watch the movie and then come back.
“So a post about Jurassic Park, huh?” You ask. “But what exactly is the post going to be about? Is it going to be, like, a post about the top 5 reasons that Jurassic Park is probably the greatest movie ever?”
To you I reply: Well, sure! If you want a post about the top 5 reasons that Jurassic Park is probably the greatest movie ever, you got it!
But before we jump right into the list, click here to watch one of the original trailers for the film; you know, to get you in the spirit of things.
Okay, now that you’ve watched that and you’re all ready to go… I give you …
The Top 5 Reasons Jurassic Park is Probably the Best Movie Ever
Reason 1: Jurassic Park gave us velociraptors.
I don’t know about you, but I had never heard of a velociraptor before seeing JP – and now everybody knows those walking nightmares.
Now if you’re like me and have had actual nightmares about velociraptors, you’ll be happy to hear that velociraptors were nowhere near as scary in real life as they appeared in the movie.
In the movie, the animals are bigger than the people and could out-run a cheetah. In real life, velociraptors only weighed about 30 pounds and stood at a laughable-compared-to-the-monsters-seen-in-the-movie 2 or 3 feet high.
However, as good as it is to know that velociraptor wasn’t really all that scary in real life, there actually was a dinosaur that looked and acted similar to the velociraptors in JP; it’s name is Deinonychus.
So why didn’t they just say that the dinosaurs in the movie were deinonychus? Supposedly deinonychus had the scary looks, but not the name that the minds behind JP were looking for.
Reason 2: Jurassic Park made people wearing all khaki look awesome.
Throughout the entire movie, one of the most awesome characters (Who are we kidding? They’re all awesome!), JP’s game warden Robert Muldoon, wore nothing but shades of khaki. A bold fashion choice, my friend.
And if you ask me, I think this opened the door for Steve Irwin to wear a very similar color palette to great success later in the decade (and myself to much less success as a near-Napoleon-Dynamite-level-of-awkward teenager).
Reason 3: Jurassic Park led to Camp Jurassic at Universal Studios in Orlando.
Camp Jurassic is probably the coolest area in any theme park. Ever. For those who do know about the area: high five! For those who don’t know, let me give you the run-down.
Camp Jurassic is sort of an off-shoot from the main JP area at Universal Studios. There’s the big visitors center (that looks like the one in the movie), then there’s the ride where you narrowly escape being eaten by… well, all of the animals at JP, and finally there’s Camp Jurassic.
Camp Jurassic doesn’t seem to be adequately advertised, and I actually stumbled upon it by chance when I was passing through the JP area.
In Camp Jurassic, you get an opportunity to explore a medium sized area with dinosaur… stuff around you. You get to climb a rope maze and tip-toe your way through a dark and misty cave. Spoiler alert: though the cave is filled with dinosaur sounds, I never actually saw a dinosaur statue, robot or anything.
Even though nothing actually popped out at me, crossing a rope bridge in a dark room, surrounded by fog, while hearing roaring and breathing, expecting something to jump out at any second, was one of the more intense experiences one could have at the park.
Reason 4: Jurassic Park gave us Sam Neill as Dr. Alan Grant.
Sheer awesomeness. ‘Nuff said? ‘Nuff said.
Reason 5: Jurassic Park reminded artists that awesome movies shouldn’t just look awesome… they must seem realistic-esque to really capture the imagination of the public.
After seeing JP, didn’t everyone come away from it thinking “well, couldn’t that really happen?”
That’s a hallmark of really good fiction; when it’s fake, but it seems real enough that it makes you think that the fiction that you just saw or read could cross the threshold and become a reality any year now.
So, now that what is probably the best post ever is finished, I wonder…
What’s your favorite thing about Jurassic Park?
Is there a version of yourself that transcends every experience that you have ever had? Find out more in the latest episode of the Josh Greesonbach Show! Episode 2: the True Self.
Come and get it! The Josh Greesonbach Show’s appetizer episode is ready to rock your eardrums. In it Josh introduces you to the show and gives you some things to think about considering the Cardinal Virtues.